(No) Me Gusta: a smutty Klaine oneshot

by: mal 

word count: 2,900+

summary: inspired by the ‘Sexy and I Know It’ number where Kurt displays his other-worldly flexibility before the new Spanish teacher and fellow Glee-clubbers. Blaine catches word of Kurt’s flirtatious attitude and gets jealous. Features sexual teasing with chairs and dominating top!Blaine. Enjoy! (NC-17)

Blaine’s body was filled with a dull ache and slight buzz from the painkillers as he watched his laptop screen blearily. All that mattered was that the surgery went well, and he’d be able to go back to school in a few days. He had been dreading it, even almost had a panic attack over it, but now he just missed his friends. Kurt most of all. Blaine just felt like a bum sitting here in his pajamas the past week, his eye twinging every few minutes or so. He needed to do something.

As if on cue to cure his loneliness his phone buzzed on the table, Santana’s conniving face grinning brightly on the screen. Blaine’s face scrunched up and his back cricked as he leaned over to answer, putting the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Blaine croaked, rubbing his good eye.

"Awwww," Santana cooed. "How’s my favorite gay pirate?"

"Fine," Blaine grumbled begrudgingly, hearing happy voices in the background over the line. They were probably all hanging out after Glee Club.. without him. “How was school?”

"Good," she said, a little edge of amusement and a little secret to her voice. “There was a new Spanish teacher, and Mr. Schue invited him to Glee Club today.”

"Cool," Blaine answered, a little confused. What was so great about a Spanish teacher? "Was that fun?"

"It sure was," Santana purred. "You should have seen Kurt though, he was having the most fun I think."

"What are you talking about," Blaine snapped, sick of her beating around the bush. "Kurt hates Spanish. He prefers French."

"I think he prefers sexy hunks who speak whatever language," she giggled, and Blaine’s face flushed with rage. "It’s like he didn’t miss you at all."

"Out with it!" Blaine growled with much more ferocity than Santana expected so she attempted to smother her giggles.

"Okay, okay," she reasoned, clearing her throat a little. "Let’s just say that Kurt presented himself fully for all to see. Your boyfriend is a little flirt, I never even knew how much before today.”

Blaine grit his teeth, trying to keep his flaming hot jealousy at bay. “Tell me more.”


Kurt trotted into Blaine’s house a little over an hour later, humming the catchy song from earlier as he placed his satchel  on the counter and fetched some ice-cold water out of the fridge.

Kurt heard some soft music upstairs, and realized that like normal that nobody but Blaine was home. Kurt trudged up the stairs, a small little spring to his step, clutching today’s homework so Blaine could keep up during his sick leave.

"Hey there," Kurt greeted brightly, smiling widely at his boyfriend all curled up in his plaid blanket and his adorable eye-patch. Even as ridiculous as Blaine looked, Kurt knew that he would heal up in no time.

Blaine was in the fetal position watching some movie on his laptop, and he barely glanced at Kurt before frowning at his computer, his arms crossed over his chest as he grunted, “Hey.”

"Hey yourself," Kurt responded, frowning slightly. "What’s up with you?"

Blaine’s scowl deepened. “Oh, nothing.”

"It doesn’t sound like nothing," Kurt acknowledged, placing Blaine’s homework on the desk and sitting next to Blaine on the bed, putting a warm palm on his knee. It was a gesture of comfort, so it upset Kurt when Blaine twitched and moved away from his touch.

Blaine didn’t answer, just grumbled, keeping his eyes trained on the movie, but Kurt could tell they were glazed over. He wasn’t paying any attention. Something pulled at Kurt’s heart.

"Did the doctor call with bad news or something," Kurt asked worriedly, twisting his hands in his lap. He kicked off his boots to get more comfortable, preparing to lay next to Blaine like they had the past week.

"No," Blaine said flatly. Kurt assessed that he was going to say anything more, which royally pissed him off. They never kept anything from each other, dammit! Kurt snapped Blaine’s laptop closed and got in his face.

"What is your problem?" he demanded, his eyebrows taut on his forehead as Blaine avoided his glare. "Have I done something to upset you?"

"Actually yes," Blaine admitted wearily, sitting up against his headboard, finally looking at Kurt full on. "You have done something."

"Well I’d like you to tell me what I did so I can fix it," Kurt said lowly, biting his lower lip.

Blaine’s expression softened to pure insecurity, his eyes wide and sad. “Am I not good enough for you, Kurt?”

Kurt went immediately to cup his face as assurance. “Of course you are. You are everything and more, Blaine. Why would you ever think otherwise?”

Blaine picked his nail, his gaze fixated on his bedspread. “Santana called.”

"Oh?" Kurt rose an eyebrow, not really sure what that meant since Santana called Blaine a lot more these days. Kurt guessed it was her way of trying to be his friend without outwardly saying so.

"Yeah," Blaine agreed vaguely. "She told me about that new Spanish teacher."

Kurt coughed, his face reddening, and Blaine didn’t miss it.

"Aha! So she wasn’t lying," Blaine accused pointing a finger at Kurt. "You were so hot for him admit it!"

Kurt squirmed uncomfortably. “I’m not going to lie and say he wasn’t good looking-“

"Santana said you were drooling and doing sexy moves that nobody has ever seen before!" Blaine looked like he was about to cry, and it made Kurt feel awful.

"I’m sorry," Kurt apologized after a moment, gaze falling to his lap again. "It wasn’t just me. He kinda got everyone riled up… I guess I just missed you. We haven’t been intimate in a while and I’m just a little worked up. That’s all. You’re the only one for me, Blaine you should know that."

Blaine was quiet for the longest time, Kurt thought Blaine was going to kick him out at any second, so he made to stand up, but a hand shot out to still him. “Hold it right there.”

A shot of adrenaline coursed through Kurt at the sound of Blaine’s voice. It was husky, and Kurt wasn’t sure why so he chanced a glance at Blaine. He nearly gasped at the sight of Blaine’s pupils dilated, his eyebrows furrowed in a heated glance, eying Kurt like he was a piece of meat. “Show me.”

"W-what?" Kurt squeaked, his heart fluttering like a hummingbird was trapped in his chest.

"Show me," Blaine repeated darkly, his squeeze on Kurt’s arm tightening. "The ‘spread eagle’ thing that Santana told me about."

Kurt made a silent ‘oh’ with his lips, standing up with shaking limbs to pull out Blaine’s computer chair. He took a deep breath to shake out his nerves before in one swift movement he gripped the back of the chair and swung his head back and legs spread wide in the air, an exact movement from earlier. Kurt probably put a little less gusto in it, because frankly he was embarrassed he had acted this way in Glee Club today, and was probably not going to be able to look the Spanish teacher in the eye tomorrow.

Blaine was watching Kurt and rubbing his chin as if considering. Blaine’s body was taught and leaning forward, all signs of fatigue and illness gone, save for the gauze and eye-patch. “Do it again.”


"With more feeling," Blaine interrupted, a grin spreading across his face knowingly. "And take your clothes off."

Kurt blushed deeply, a tremor of arousal throbbing to his cock at Blaine’s words and tone. Was he really asking Kurt for a show?

"But your parents, won’t they come home?" Kurt asked shakily.

"Not for a while," Blaine assured, scooting to the edge of his bed and perching. Kurt couldn’t help but notice the tent in Blaine’s navy pajama bottoms as he rubbed his own knee slowly.

Kurt licked his lips unconsciously, a surge of hot arousal tingling his limbs as his confidence grew with Blaine’s requests and expectancy. With all the painkillers and worries over Sebastian, Kurt had been a bit down about Blaine not being in the mood, so he was planning on taking full advantage.

"Okay," Kurt said flirtatiously, dragging his thumb over his exposed collarbone before he peeled his sweater off over his head slowly.

"You tease," Blaine barked, his voice so gravelly it made Kurt painfully turned on.

"You love it," Kurt pointed out, turning around to smirk over his shoulder, wagging his ass as he unbuttoned his skin tight jeans. Blaine was positively drooling as Kurt shimmied his pants down, exposing delicious, pale and lightly-freckled flesh in their wake.

Blaine groaned out-loud at the sight of Kurt’s bare ass, and with the knowledge he had gone commando. Blaine was almost thankful he wasn’t at school today, because if he saw Kurt dancing like this today in class, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stop from attacking him.

Once Kurt was fully de-clothed, he strut toward the chair, twirling it under his touch once before bending over it and rolling his body fluidly.

Blaine pressed down on his erection at the sight hissing out, “Fuck, Kurt you can’t just do things like that.”

"But you asked me to," Kurt teased lightly, feigning innocence, but his ruby lips and sinfully round ass presented in all its glory suggested otherwise. "You know I like to please my baby."

Kurt then straddled the chair, his fully hard cock bobbing against his stomach and leaving a spot of pre-come on his abdomen as he spread his legs widely. Kurt opened his mouth in the most alluring way possible and rolled his body, his toes curling into the carpet.

That was when Blaine couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to touch. He needed to taste. In the exact moment Blaine dropped to his knees, Kurt gripped the back of the chair again, slamming his ass against the back of it and swinging his legs exotically in the air.

Blaine reached forward and held Kurt in place, who let out an surprised squeak which quickly turned into a moan as Blaine’s fingers dug into his thighs, his lips pressing against Kurt’s bare flesh.

Blaine’s tongue peaked out from his lips as he swiped up Kurt’s crack, causing Kurt to shiver and whimper, his legs craning over the chair and pressing against Blaine’s back to get him closer. Blaine took the hand that was mindlessly rubbing himself to spread Kurt’s ass cheeks for better access before pressing his tongue flatly against Kurt’s puckered hole.

Yes,” Kurt keened, pressing his heel into Blaine’s shoulder. Even though the angle was going to make him be sore later, he didn’t care because this was so freaking hot. His boyfriend was tonging his asshole through a hole in the back of a chair. It really couldn’t get better than this.

God Kurt you taste so fucking good,” Blaine groaned, pressing his nails into Kurt as he swirled his tongue over and over, relishing in the gritty feel and the purest spot that was most Kurt.

Kurt whined, his heel grazing up to Blaine’s neck, prodding him more because he just needed Blaine to be inside him now, no matter how, just now. Blaine obliged, pressing his face against Kurt’s glorious ass completely as he thrust his tongue in, the compressing muscles hot on his tongue. Blaine groaned, the vibrations sending up into Kurt in the most delicious way possible.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck," Kurt chanted as Blaine’s dry fingertip joined his tongue, soon slathered with saliva and began searching and crooking for the sweet spot. Blaine circled his tongue again as he pressed on Kurt’s prostate with his fingertip, making his boyfriend cry out in ecstasy and further inflating his ego.

"Yeah, that’s right," Blaine growled as he withdrew, ripping his pajama shirt open as Kurt gazed up at him with heavy lids and dry lips begging to be bruised. "Nobody but me can cause you to make those noises, isn’t that right Kurt?”

Kurt whimpered and nodded, clawing at Blaine’s pajama bottoms, but his erect dick kept them up mostly, save for the delicious V that Kurt wanted to trace with his tongue over and over again. Blaine grinned evilly, leaning over the chair before without any warning thrust his fingers inside Kurt harshly, crooking them again and jabbing against his prostate with more force than rendered necessary.

"Fuck!" Kurt cried out again, a gorgeous tinge of rose flattering his cheekbones and chest. Blaine shuddered, a animalistic grumble growing in his chest. This breathtakingly gorgeous boy as all his. And nobody else’s.

"I didn’t quite hear you Kurt," Blaine growled, shoving his fingers in again as deep as he could, causing Kurt to clench around him and mouth pop open in a silent scream.

"Just you," Kurt whimpered. "Only you. I’m yours."

Blaine hummed in approval, fucking Kurt with his fingers as he pulled him up by the hair for a searing kiss that was sloppy with teeth and tongues. But Kurt loved it, of course he did, because he was moaning like a whore into Blaine’s mouth, shoving himself down onto Blaine’s fingers unabashedly.

"Fuck me," Kurt begged once they broke apart, tears of sexual frustration clinging to his lashes. "Please, take me Blaine.”

A fierce tremor of pure need rolled down Blaine’s spine. He loved when Kurt begged for him like this. It was absolutely the hottest thing in the world, and a second longer without being buried deeply in that gorgeous ass would be a tragedy.

"Bed," Blaine grunted, pulling Kurt up and shoving him toward the mattress, body poised for pouncing. "Same position."

Kurt clambered and Blaine bit his own lip because Kurt was dangling his ass like that on purpose before leaning his shoulders heavily against the headboard, holding his thighs up with his hands until they were over his head. Blaine groaned loudly, eying Kurt’s puckered and gaping hole. If that wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d ever seen, he didn’t know what was.

Blaine was on Kurt in half a second, losing his pants in the process as his leaking cock smacked wetly against his navel, his hands cupping and spreading Kurt’s ass as far as possible, kissing him hungrily and gnawing at those sinful lips.

Now.Blaine,” Kurt pleaded, hooking his calves around Blaine’s neck to bring them flush together. Blaine grabbed his length firmly by the shaft and slid his cock up and down, groaning as his pre-come lubed Kurt’s entrance as he teased.

Kurt tightened his legs, pulling Blaine in with such great flexibility and such a hot kiss, Blaine could help but thrust forward, pressing his cock past the ring of muscles, the hot drag delicious and powerful.

Kurt moaned into the kiss as Blaine filled him completely, the urge to be fucked not even close to sated since Blaine was going too damn slow.

"C’mon," Kurt prodded again, gritting his teeth with fierce determination. "Fuck me so hard that everyone will know I belong to someone, especially that sexy teacher."

Blaine growled ferociously, his teeth catching Kurt’s bottom lip and clamping down as he pulled out, circling the head of his cock around Kurt’s rim before slamming forward again.

The slap of Blaine’s hips against Kurt’s ass was mouth-watering, but Kurt wanted it harder.. deeper. And that’s exactly what he asked for. In no time, Blaine was gripping Kurt’s legs so tight there would be bruises, but neither of them cared. Kurt could barely pay attention to anything else as Blaine hammered into him mercilessly, making the headboard slam loudly against the wall, but it was nothing to Kurt’s exclamations of pleasure.

Blaine felt dizzy, but his lust fought off his drug-addled mind as he glanced down and saw himself slide in and out of Kurt. Kurt’s entrance was stretched wide and suctioned to his veiny cock, and each time Blaine was fully sheathed, his pelvis cushioned with a sweaty smack, causing him to further climb to his peak.

"So.. close," Kurt managed, his hair matted to his forehead and mouth open and begging to be filled. Blaine hummed possessively, shoving his salty fingers into Kurt’s mouth, who automatically began to suck greedily.

Guh,” Blaine groaned gracefully, snapping his hips rougher with each stroke as Kurt gazed lustfully at him, his irises a thin midnight blue outline around his completely blown pupils. It made Blaine positively shiver.

Blaine pulled his fingers away and immediately wrapped his palm around Kurt’s cock, stroking roughly and in attempt to time with his erratic thrusts. Kurt tightened his rim and flashed a sultry grin. Blaine stilled both his hand and hips, unbelievably close so he took a breather by grinding deep into Kurt and make him positively purr.

"You ready for the final stretch?" Blaine asked breathily, and Kurt nodded once, tightening his magnificent hold on Blaine’s neck, his toes threading in Blaine’s hair.

Blaine then pounded into Kurt with no mercy left, letting the heat that burned from his balls to his abdomen build searing hot until he released, his grip tightening on Kurt as he came hotly inside him, each convulsion more amazing than the last.

Blaine was vaguely aware of Kurt crying out as well, come splattering his chin and chest but he still managed to stroke Kurt through it as he rode the most amazing high of his life.

Once Kurt writhed and keened, he allowed Blaine to collapse on top of him, still intimately inside him and come making him feel full and thoroughly satisfied. Blaine nuzzled into Kurt’s sweaty neck, breathing him in and sighed contentedly.

Kurt giggled, curling Blaine’s dark hair around his fingers affectionately. “Maybe I should hit on guys more often if this is the result.”

Blaine laughed lightly, molding more into Kurt’s body. “Only if you want another splitting lesson.”

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